A Long-Overdue Update on Life

I've started writing many blog posts on Answering Oliver over the last month, but I'm never able to finish them. They trail off into dead ends, perhaps because I find them particularly uninspiring, or because they are inauthentic.

I'm too far behind to begin catching up with one post that focuses on one neat topic. My life doesn't look like that right now. I've got things to spill, and they won't come in any sort of convenient package.

Let's start with this: I'm extremely, incredibly, unbelievably happy right now.

I've got practically no sense of certainty in my life, and yet I am happy. This never would have been the case prior to my trip, during which I learned to embrace the unknown and roll with the punches.

The old me would have been bursting with anxiety over having no job, no permanent home and seemingly no sense of direction. Now I'm just suspended in an odd state of calm, acknowledging that I don't know all the answers, but everything will be OK.

Maybe that all has to do with knowing that I'm in the right place, in the physical sense.

At the beginning of July, I spent a week in Portland, Oregon, to attend the second-annual World Domination Summit. The conference itself only lasted two days of my visit; the rest of the time, I ate Voodoo Doughnuts and danced and caroused and built houses with several friends I made at last year's event.

Chris Guillebeau addressing the 1,000 attendees of WDS 2012. (c) Armosa Studios.

Voodoo's bacon-maple doughnut: Looks disgusting, tastes amazing.

Kristin Glenn, Nicky Hajal and me dancing the night away (Nicky especially).

My hostel dorm-mates and I spent a day volunteering for Habitat for Humanity. From left back: Nate Damm, James Clark, Anthony Secco, me, Dave Ursillo, Shannon O'Donnell, Jodi Ettenberg, Jacob Sokol, Nicky Hajal, Dave Dean, Steve Kamb, Nathan Agin.

But despite all the fun I had, I got very homesick about halfway through the week. I was surrounded by awesome people, Portland had perfect summer weather and I had tons of free time to do whatever I wanted, but it didn't matter — I missed Seattle, I missed Aaron, I missed my family. I missed home.

That's how I know for sure that I'm in the right place, and long-term solo travel definitely isn't right for me. I barely lasted a week away from Seattle this time!

And then I came home to this.

And I felt compelled to write the story of my history with Aaron. For those readers who began following along with my travels this year, Aaron didn't just appear out of nowhere when I came home in May; he appeared out of nowhere exactly two years ago, looking like a homeless man and making fun of my alma mater, the (clearly superior) rival to his. It's a long story. : )

On Sunday, Aaron and I are off to Hawaii for a week of tropical adventures. We've got lots of fun stuff planned, including hiking, snorkeling, cycling and ATV riding. Aaron is also going to photograph his co-worker's Kauai wedding, and I decided to try my hand at being the second photographer.

When he first asked me to help shoot the wedding, I said something like, "No, no, no, nooooo. That's way too much pressure. I have no experience shooting weddings!"

Which, of course, translated to: "I'm not good enough."

That's stupid. I am good enough. I'm going to try. And maybe, just maybe, I'll surprise myself and take some good shots.

When was the last time you told yourself you weren't good enough? Rethink that.

It's hard to put yourself out there, to try and quite possibly fail. I'm in the process of doing that right now with... let's call them... schmob schminterviews. OK, I'll say it: Job interviews.

I don't desperately need a job right now, but I would like one. I figured out during my travels that I prefer having a traditional job over working for myself because I like physically going to an office, being around people and having fairly regular hours. I also thought about what my last job was lacking, and what I really want in my next job:

• To be constantly challenged.
• To be creative.
• To believe in what I'm doing.
• To have room to grow.

I've decided to look at jobs now rather than wait until my bank account is urgently low and I feel like I need to take any job I can get. I've long made it a priority to ensure that I never feel trapped or forced into anything. Right now, I have the luxury of being able to selectively apply for jobs that I think I'll find challenging and fulfilling. I hope it works out!

I should note here that I wasn't going to write anything about job hunting until I actually landed a job — who wants to look like a failure? — but failure is just a part of the story. Writing only about success reeks of that lack of authenticity I spoke of earlier.

That said, let's talk about a little success. Remember when I sprained my ankle in Thailand? I spent about two and a half weeks on crutches, a few more weeks in a brace and a month in physical therapy.

I went from this...

About to leave Thailand! At the Koh Samui airport on May 8.

...to this...

Taking a break from limping around in my brace. In my mom's backyard on May 26.

...to this!

Running like a boss! At Green Lake on July 4.

OK, so I'm not completely recovered yet. I have to do short intervals of running and walking, since my bad ankle can't handle the impact of constant running quite yet, and I still have bouts of soreness and swelling. Right now, for example, the ankle is pissed off because I wore heels to a job interview yesterday. My bad!

Recovering has seemed like a long, tedious process, but I'm just so thankful to be able to walk normally again. Mobility is such a precious gift, and it's important for so many things I hold dear, like running, traveling and feeling independent. I'll always remember what it felt like to have it taken away and appreciate it a lot more.

Let's see... happiness, Portland, Aaron, Hawaii, job interviews, recovery... I think I've covered a lot in this long-overdue life update!

I suppose I'll end with something I learned at the World Domination Summit. Before I wrote this post, I was thinking about how happy I am right now, and sort of basking in that glow of things just feeling right.

And then... I felt a tiny twinge of dread. Things can't be this good for long. What's about to go wrong?

Brené Brown spoke at WDS about vulnerability. She said that most of us are afraid to be vulnerable because our instinct is to close ourselves off, to shield ourselves from rejection, embarrassment and pain. In doing so, though, we also stifle our ability to fully experience joy.

Even though I'm happy now, my gut tells me to prepare myself for something bad to happen. Some may call that pessimism; others, practicality. All I know is that it cuts short my joy, and Brown says that sucks. I do, too.

I'll choose instead to be vulnerable, to open myself up to all possibilities and to hold on to my happiness.

###

New here?

• Here's the lowdown on My Story
• You can add Answering Oliver to your feed reader
• Feel free to subscribe to Answering Oliver by email
  
• Liking Answering Oliver on Facebook is also a valid option
• Perhaps you'd like to follow my stream of randomness on Twitter
• Or just hang out. That's cool, too.

###

WDS: Food porn

Thank you, everyone, for all the kind feedback about An unhurried life. It was a tough post to write in that I wasn't sure I'd quite be able to translate the experience into words, but I'm so glad it was able to touch some of you.

Now, how about a lighter topic for today? : D

I tried to come up with a different title for this post, I really did. But then I Googled it and found this Web site (ahhhh! yum) named after it and didn't feel bad.

I love reading cooking blogs, but not because I like to actually make the food they feature — I just like to drool over the gorgeous photos, also known as "food porn" in the blogosphere.

Here's my first attempt at taking those types of photos of the food and beverages I enjoyed at the World Domination Summit. I hope the search engine gods will overlook the fact that I've used the P-word twice so far, and weird creepers will stay off this innocent little blog. Move along, guys — nothing to see here! : D

At the opening-night cocktail party, I enjoyed a few pork tacos from the Koi Fusion food cart —"an innovative and funky fusion of Mexican and Korean cuisine served up with a twist." Delish!

On Saturday morning, I took advantage of my first solo hotel stay and ordered room service — an unnecessary indulgence, yes, but one that was completely worth it.

I've eaten plain Quaker Oats from Costco every morning for the last year or so, which amounts to about $0.07 a serving — no joke — and fluffy room-service pancakes were a wonderful treat!

With an extra side of fruit for good measure.

I killed everything except 1/3 of a pancake. Yum.

I usually stay away from coffee, but Starbucks was a necessity each morning...

...because Portland has plenty of fun places to hang out and enjoy some beers each night!

Our first stop on the Saturday-night brewery tour was the BridgePort BrewPub.

I enjoyed a delicious Summer Squeeze — so refreshing after trekking around in the (rare) Portland sun.

This random, friendly Portlander had some incredible-looking BridgePort mac 'n' cheese, and he let me try a bite. Don't worry, I used a clean fork supplied by the bartender and sampled from the untouched side!

It was as delicious as it looks. Breadcrumbs for the win!

We skipped Deschutes Brewery and headed straight to the Rogue Distillery and Public House, where I enjoyed a chocolate stout (front middle). I don't usually go for stouts, but something drew me to this one. Hmm, what was it again? Oh, yeah — CHOCOLATE!

It was one of my top four favorite beers of all time.

Mr. Nerd Fitness ordered pizza for a few of us, but the sausage was way too spicy for me. It sure looked good, though!

I made TartBerry my home-away-from-home with two visits in two days. : D This self-serve frozen yogurt haven was just a few blocks away from the conference, and I wanted nothing more than something delicious to cool me down each afternoon!

There was an amazing selection of toppings, including cereal, fruit and candy.

I went with original tart, raspberry, chocolate and red velvet cake frozen yogurt with various fruit toppings. So, so good.

And last but not least, I ordered room service one last time on Monday morning. I was exhausted from the weekend and busy packing up to leave, so I decided to indulge. Once again, it was so worth it!

I had smoked salmon hash with a poached egg and avocado creme, plus a grapefruit half topped with caramelized sugar.

I love anything with salmon, so that was a no-brainer, but the caramelized-sugar grapefruit was a standout — definitely a winning combination.

Sorry that I've made you all hungry now. I've gone and made myself hungry!

Happy Friday!

###

New here?

• Here's the lowdown on My Story
• You can add Answering Oliver to your feed reader
• Feel free to subscribe to Answering Oliver by email
  
• Liking Answering Oliver on Facebook is also a valid option
• Perhaps you'd like to follow my stream of randomness on Twitter
• Or just hang out. That's cool, too.

###

An Unhurried Life

I came to the World Domination Summit wanting to learn more about traveling. I knew I wanted to see the world, and for the first time actually believed I could. I grew up thinking it would never be possible for me to wander because money was tight growing up, and I’ve always had my sights simply set on getting into a good college so I could land a good job.

I went to a good college. I have that good job. Now I realize I owe more to myself.

The trouble I had with the idea of traveling was that I wouldn’t know what to do with myself once I landed somewhere on the other side of the world.

I move quickly. I tend to find the fastest route and hurry along, focusing on the task of getting to wherever it is I need to be. I’m one of those people who gets really, really frustrated when caught behind a pack of slow walkers.

So would my travels just be a blur of landmarks and food carts between destinations? What’s the point of that?

On Sunday morning, I awoke in my hotel room with a massive slight hangover. My new group of WDS friends had a fabulous, rowdy, laughter-filled Saturday night out on the town, and it had been a very long time since I’d had one of those.

Despite the fact that I had to be at the Portland Art Museum at 9:00 for the first talk of the day, I moved slowly, ordering room service and otherwise dilly-dallying around.

What’s unusual about this for me is that I acknowledged that I had somewhere to be, yet I didn’t feel anxious about getting there. I wasn’t rushed. I decided that I would get there when I got there, and that would be it.

There was such a stillness in the streets of Portland that morning. I set out on my several-block walk to the museum and for the first few minutes saw… nobody. It was just me, the quiet brick sidewalks and the morning sunlight filtering gently through tree-lined streets.

It was stunningly peaceful and beautiful. I took my time, enjoying the atmosphere and stopping to take pictures of whatever I felt like. Once I took a few shots of some metal barricades left over from the previous night’s parade, then continued walking. I realized about five steps away that I’d like to go back and try shooting a different angle. I would usually keep walking, but this morning, I turned back.

I had time.

I was utterly happy on this walk. Sure, I’d had a great time meeting new friends and enjoying delicious food the whole weekend, but this was something different. This was me really being alone with myself for the first time in a very, very long time. This was me feeling like I was exactly where I was supposed to be, doing exactly what I was supposed to be doing.

I realized that this was what I wanted for myself: An unhurried life. A life in which I could go at my own pace and give myself permission to take time for small pleasures. A life in which I wasn’t anxious about always moving from place to place, but rather was content with this place – wherever that may be at any moment.

My job dictates deadlines as often as every 15 minutes. My beloved running hobby drives me to push for ever-faster times, ever more satisfying PRs. My most cringe-worthy attitude flaw, I think, is my impatience, both with myself and with other people. I’m always, always, always rushing. No wonder I had a panic attack in April that left me flattened for two days.

When I reached the museum, I was so overwhelmed with the idea of living a joyful, unhurried life that I couldn’t go in. I ended up being just a few minutes late, and I wouldn’t have missed much of the first presentation, but I realized that nothing that was said in that museum could have possibly meant more to me at that moment than just sitting quietly by myself in the small park across the street.

I spent about 20 minutes in that park, alternately shooting photos and dabbing at tears – the good kind. I spent at least 5 minutes taking photos of a single tree, following an ant with my zoom lens.

A man not affiliated with the conference approached me and said, in a friendly, curious way, “What is so interesting about that tree?”

Nothing or everything, depending on how hard you’re looking. I had just opened my eyes.

When I finally entered the museum, I sat on the floor in the back of the full room. Somehow I ended up saying hi to the man sitting next to me, and I talked with him through the entire Mondo Beyondo presentation about what I’d just experienced.

That man, as it happens, was Leo Babauta. Although I was a complete stranger to him, he hugged me at least three times as I told my story.

Photo by Armosa Studios

Chatting with Leo Babauta about such a life revelation is like being able to discuss cookie-decorating ideas with Martha Stewart. Talk about feeling like you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be, doing exactly what you’re supposed to be doing.

I wrote "unhurried" on my wrist as part of a conference exercise, and the word remained with me Sunday and Monday. (Leo was my partner in this exercise, and he wrote Joyfear on his arm.)

The emotional intensity of the conference magnified this experience for me, and I saw it as a critical shift in my attitude.

Sunday night at the WDS afterparty, hundreds of "thirsty" partygoers far exceeded the capacity of the small bar and single bartender, yet I didn't mind one bit waiting in the 20-minute line. Instead of becoming impatient and fiddling with my phone, I spent the time getting to know two new people I would have otherwise never met that weekend. We shared our favorite moments of the conference, as well as our goals for the next few years.

In a short period of idleness during which I would normally have shut down, I was able to connect on a deep level with two perfect strangers. What have I been missing all this time due to my impatience and hurriedness?

When I returned to Seattle, exhausted and happy, I had to catch a bus from downtown to head home. I checked my favorite app to see when the next bus would come, and actually smiled when I saw that it was 15 minutes away. Normally any wait longer than 10 minutes frustrates me, but I was grateful for this opportunity to sit, think and soak in my city.

Jonathan Fields spoke about reframing your situation and how it can make all the difference in your attitude. After my experience in Portland, I realized just how important it is to consider inconveniences as opportunities, and to use them to my advantage instead of letting them slowly chip away at my vitality.

Thank you, Portland, and everyone I met at WDS, for helping me realize that what I want is an unhurried life.

I can think of nothing I'd like to do more than to wander through the streets of new cities, sampling food, saying hi to strangers and taking photos of whatever I feel like along the way.

And maybe find a bench, like this one, to soak everything in and reflect on where it all started.

###

New here?

• Here's the lowdown on My Story
• You can add Answering Oliver to your feed reader
• Feel free to subscribe to Answering Oliver by email
  
• Liking Answering Oliver on Facebook is also a valid option
• Perhaps you'd like to follow my stream of randomness on Twitter
• Or just hang out. That's cool, too.

###

WDS: People Who've Changed My Life

I didn't know what to expect going into the World Domination Summit. I knew I would probably meet some awesome people, but I was also a bit anxious because I really hate small talk.

The conventional first conversation — "Hi. How are you. What do you do?" — makes me uncomfortable to the point that I'd rather avoid meeting new people so I won't have to suffer through it. Sad, huh?

But it quickly became clear that this conference was a No Bullshit Zone. There was no small talk. There was big talk.

Instead of polite, surface-skimming questions, we asked soul-diving questions of each other. "What do you do?" was replaced by, "What are your dreams? What is your greatest fear? What kind of life do you want for yourself?" and more.

My goal for WDS was to learn more about travel. I dream of taking off to see the world, but I'm by nature a stay-at-homer, a curl-up-and-reader, a call-me-when-you're-done-and-tell-me-how-it-was... er. A big reason for that is because I'm afraid of the unknown.

But check out who I met on the train ride from Seattle to Portland:

I could not have met a more knowledgeable, kind, eloquent and funny first friend at WDS than Jodi Ettenberg of Legal Nomads. She sat right across the aisle from me on the train, and we chatted for much of the trip. I was able to pick her brain about all my burning travel questions, particularly those about traveling safely as a woman. What an incredible start to the weekend!

Of course, Jodi quickly became a rockstar of the conference with her captivating keynote speech and friendly, informative breakout sessions. Plus, everyone seems to know and love her! What a pleasure to begin my WDS experience by hanging out with her — and on top of all that, the resource-packed WDS page she's since posted on her Web site is exactly what I needed to calm my lingering fears of the unknown.

Thanks to her, my hunger for adventure is stronger than ever, and I know I'm capable of fulfilling my travel dreams.

What I didn't expect from WDS was to have such fascinating, mind-expanding, in-depth conversations with so many people about all the major areas of interest in my life: travel, personal finance, photography, running and fitness.

I felt like the conference was practically tailored specifically for me, but I think everyone felt like that! It's amazing how so many different people could feel so connected to one weekend of awesomeness.

Here are some of those people.

Since Caleb Wojcik and I met at Jenny Blake's book tour stop in Seattle just prior to WDS, he was my buddy from the start. As the blogger behind Pocket Changed, Caleb's goal is to educate twentysomethings about personal finance and help them become free from debt. And he's my age — just 24 years old.

I spent 2010 paying off all my debt (nearly $9,000) and learning everything I could about personal finance, including how to stay debt-free, save money for travel and adventures, and plan for retirement. Caleb is the first person my age that I've met who feels as strongly as I do about personal finance, and we had some great conversations — plus, we've already made plans to work together a bit.

This very smart man has big things in store for his life.

I met Eugene (second from left) at the Bridgeport Brewery, the first stop of the WDS brewery tour. We connected over photography and later had a lengthy discussion about it at the WDS afterparty. Eugene is incredibly talented (just check out his photoblog), and it was so valuable for me to chat with him as a newbie photographer.

So many people at WDS assumed I was a pro (or at least seasoned) photographer judging by the size of the camera I had hanging around my neck, but I just got it in February and have been slowly learning how to use it since.

Between talking with Eugene and learning tips from the incredible Karen Walrond, whose breakout session I had the pleasure of attending, I was in photography heaven!

Matt Frazier of No Meat Athlete and Steve Kamb of Nerd Fitness were the running and fitness gurus I connected with. Matt told me all about qualifying for and running the Boston Marathon as a vegetarian, while Steve shared his experiences in keeping in shape while hopping from country to country with an around-the-world plane ticket. Matt is kind of Steve's hero, so this photo is for him. : D

And on top of  the people I met who shared my major interests, I found tons of new friends who do incredible things that most people only dream of doing.

Here's Nate Damm, who's in the middle of a journey to walk from Delaware to San Francisco, all the way across America. His friend Joel picked him up in Missouri to travel to WDS, and will drop him off back in Missouri to resume the walk.

Nate gave up a lot to take this trip of a lifetime, but he told me something I'll never forget: "If you feel called to do something and don't do it, it'll haunt you for the rest of your life."

Speaking of Nate's friend, here's Joel Runyon. He writes the Blog of Impossible Things, where he chronicles his adventures doing things like competing in triathlons and traveling the world. He led a group of 40+ people in a skydiving adventure at WDS, then went bungee jumping a few days later. Joel also managed to get pretty sweaty running around Portland for a scavenger hunt, as you can see.

Benny of Fluent in 3 Months travels to other countries to learn the language and become... fluent in three months. He also does a mean rendition of the Juanes hit "Tengo la Camisa Negra."

This is Roger Lawson, who I didn't really talk with, but I had to get a photo of the "mischief" he had written on his forehead during one of the conference exercises. I heard lots of, "Oh, I love Rog!" though, and his Web site, Rog Law Fitness, looks like a blast — the tagline is, "Committed to Sexification on a Global Scale."

Mark Lawrence was my lunch buddy one day, and he also saved my life from the one slightly sketchy person I came across in Portland. He's co-founder of SpotHero, a new company that will rent out Chicago parking spaces. Genius!

Kimberly Edger is a physical therapist, runner and world adventurer who gave me lots of encouragement and laughs. We connected on Twitter prior to WDS and I thought she was a "he," since I misread her handle as "Edgar." Sorry, Edger!!

Josh Schwartzman is a photographer and world traveler who gave me some precious advice on how not to have your camera stolen at a hostel, including this pro tip: Don't leave it sitting out on a table. : D

And then there's Chris Guillebeau. What more is there to say about Chris?

How about this: I've only discovered my passions for travel, personal finance, photography and running in the past few years, but I believe they've always been somewhere inside of me. This incredible path was already laid out ahead of me — Chris Guillebeau just helped light the way.

He holds a very mighty torch.

###

I have tons more photos and stories from WDS — be sure to check back in the next few days!

###

New here?

• Here's the lowdown on My Story
• You can add Answering Oliver to your feed reader
• Feel free to subscribe to Answering Oliver by email
  
• Liking Answering Oliver on Facebook is also a valid option
• Perhaps you'd like to follow my stream of randomness on Twitter
• Or just hang out. That's cool, too.

###

Amtrak to Sunny, Fabulous Portland!

I've never taken a train before. I've never traveled to a city by myself before. I've never navigated a new city by public transit before. I've never checked into my very own hotel room before.

It's a weekend full of firsts!

I had originally planned to hitch a ride down to Portland with a woman I met at Chris Guillebeau's University Bookstore talk, but she decided to drive down a few days early and I couldn't swing it. I booked train tickets instead and I'm so glad I did!

I was excited to enjoy Wi-Fi and beer on the train instead of sitting in awful traffic on I-5. The Wi-Fi didn't exactly work, but I made the best of the situation...

My seatmates were young and friendly, and we chatted easily. As I was explaining the World Domination Summit to one of them (very difficult, by the way!), a woman across the aisle overheard me and said she was heading to WDS, too!

This is Jodi Ettenberg. She's been traveling the world since April 2008, when she quit her cushy job as a corporate lawyer in Montreal. She flew in from Thailand to attend WDS.

We moseyed to the bistro car to grab some refreshments, and I was able to ask Jodi so many questions I have about doing exactly what she's done. As I sipped my beer, she told me about how she saved up money to travel, how she does freelance photography and writing to fund her adventures and how to safely navigate the world as a woman.

I'm super happy I met Jodi, and I can't wait to read through her blog, Legal Nomads, like crazy!

She also has some of the most awesome business cards I've ever seen.

Each card features a different photo that Jodi has snapped somewhere around the world. There are some really incredible shots! She let me browse all the cards and choose my favorite — a genius way to show off her talent for photography and network at the same time.

I chose this card that features her with a tiger to remind me that I could easily be in the same position someday...

I just can't get over what a great idea this is for business cards!

Jodi was on the train with her friend, Shannon O'Donnell, who is also a world traveler, writer and photographer with super-awesome business cards. Notice a theme here?

Meanwhile, I'm just proud that I made it to Portland and found my way (via the MAX light rail and some walking) to my hotel.

Forgive me for being really excited about the first hotel room that I'll have all to myself for the next three days!!

Beautiful king bed that I'll definitely jump on later.

Sweet TV and desk, where the hotel gods have blessed me with complimentary Wi-Fi.

Lovely bathroom, where I can fling all my products around and not have to share counter space with anyone else.

Such a nerd...

Aaaand, YES.

The conference kicks off with a cocktail party in a few hours. Chris Guillebeau has tweeted that there'll be two signature drinks: "First We Take Manhattan" (bourbon) and "The Frequent Flyer" (vodka).

Excitement doesn't cover it.

###

New here?

• Here's the lowdown on My Story
• You can add Answering Oliver to your feed reader
• Feel free to subscribe to Answering Oliver by email
  
• Liking Answering Oliver on Facebook is also a valid option
• Perhaps you'd like to follow my stream of randomness on Twitter
• Or just hang out. That's cool, too.

###